This blog is for me. A cheap therapy session. You can choose to read if you wish (empathy for the big pregnant woman) or ignore if you choose (believe that every part of birth is wonderful).
For all it's amazing magical mystery, pregnancy can be a real pain in the butt. And the crazy part is that you forget all the frustrations after and year or so and are tempted to go through the whole process again.
So this blog is a kind reminder to the future me of all the joys and sorrows I'm experiencing with this pregnancy. This week alone I have experienced light headedness due to low iron and some sleepless nights due to achy and sore joints. Fortunately, the iron part can be fixed and we figured it out right away. But the achy joints are related to the relaxin my body is producing to get ready for labor. So that's around for the next couple of months. I don't remember it starting this early with Ellie but the midwife said it's not unusual for everything to start earlier in subsequent pregnancies.
Clothes are starting to become an issue as the belly reaches a round, full circumference of 29cm (according to yesterday's midwife visit. Eva's hb was right at 140). It's getting harder and harder to find shirts that cover the entire belly so it appears that the lower part of my belly will continue to peek out from under for the foreseeable future. This also means that I'm starting to reach the point of having a pregnancy uniform. No one wants to buy more clothes they won't wear again in 2 months so I'm wearing a smaller selection of well fitting clothes on a continuous loop. Boring.
Honestly, there are some days I wish I could take off the pregnancy and have the regular me back for a little bit.
I think I've talked about this but all my veins bulge and are spidery blue across my chest, belly and legs. Again, it's just strange to see your body be something so different than what is has been for as long as you can remember.
By the end of a day, gravity has done it's work on my belly. The belly and all related muscles, both front and back, are sore making anything but sitting or laying down on my side a chore. Sometimes I feel like I just give up and succumb to it. But then feel sad for Braden and Ellie who still want to do fun things.
Sleep oh' precious sleep. You are generally gone too. Snoring has started (poor Braden slept in a different room last night because it was so bad). All but two sleeping positions have been taken away. And even then, I have to come out of a sleep state to move between the two. There's the careful belly flip that has to happen. Poor Eva doesn't like getting jostled too much. If she does, then her whole body begins to twitch so I'm getting poked from the pelvic area all the way up to the ribs. Once flipped to the new side, then pillows have to be adjusted to support hips, belly and arms. After all this, then I can start to settle back into sleep. (I really know this is just reverse "sleepless" training for the first couple of nursing months)
There are some great parts too. I have great skin (no acne which is something I normally have) and the lush hair I remembered from my first pregnancy is back! I get to watch little Eva become a person. She is a well documented child with monthly ultrasounds. Plus she's getting big enough that she's with me all the time..poking out from my belly. I get to talk to her when she's awake squirming around. I get to be special and different for these last few months. Everyone likes pregnant people because they have special little packages. They care about the event that's happening and are excited and generally very happy when discussing said little package.
It's been a blast to watch Ellie really process the experience. She talks on a daily basis as if Eva is already here. She's even blamed her already for something Ellie did. "Eva did it" she told us one day in the car. We smiled at how the sibling experience has already started for her. She's been very loving and tender when it comes to my belly. She hugs, kisses and has even talked to it. Affection is generally not a strong Ellie trait so it's been very surprising.
I feel well prepared going into this second birth and parenting experience. Do I think it's going to go off script and deviate from all plans? yes. But I've had three years to overcome some of my control tendencies. Not that they don't creep in daily but in general, I'm ready to expect the unexpected. So I'm looking forward to enjoying this parenting experience more than I did with Ellie. (Really I was a wreck that first year with Ellie)
Ok...starting to feel much better. Pregnancy can be tough stuff. And it's not something that you can take turns sharing with anyone else. It's all yours, the good, the bad and the ugly :)
Friday, August 23, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
That beautiful mind
Sent from my Samsung Epic™ 4G
Friday, August 16, 2013
Week 28 - Holy Cow, Hello Third Trimester
"Time" you are a funny, funny thing. How fast "you" move, yet how slow "you" go.
That's how I'm feeling this week as I officially round the bases into the last third of my pregnancy. I'm trying to relish this experience but am wishing the next couple of months away at the same time.
This past Saturday welcomed a new baby Robison into our lives. Little Sophia Grace was born to Braden's brother Cortny (really born to his amazing wife Amber). Seeing little Sophia makes me want to meet Eva (that's the name we think we're going with) now. Patience is not my greatest strength.
And as we get closer, I think I get anxious about how the next few months will progress. I just want her to arrive safe and sound. In another month I start 2/week non-stress tests due to the umbilical cord defect. It just seems like a lot of testing. But I'm staying positive and trying to focus on the things I do have control of.
Another reason to speed along is the wear and tear of pregnancy. It takes its' toll on me and the family. My abilities are becoming more and more limited. As the tummy rounds out (I no longer have visibility to certain parts of my body) bending and lifting become constrained because the abs are gone. It also feels like the relaxin is kicking in big time so my joints are sore after a nights rest or being in one position for too long.
Poor Braden has to take up more and jobs around the house and in life...I know he's excited to have the "real" me back. I'm more needy than ever and it's just frustrating to both of us. And I feel like I'm just not as focused on Ellie these days. I feel like I'm constantly distracted. So that bums me out.
On the flip side of all this though, is the watching Eva grow into a little person. She's big enough now that my whole belly shifts and contorts with her movements. She reacts to her outside environment of sounds and touches. So at least once a day, I'm mesmerized by my belly. I stop and watch the little life inside doing her thing and am in awe.
And I know that for all the discomforts, she's much easier to take care of now. And that I don't have to worry about her out in the world because she's always with me.
So yeah, time (and being human)...it's a funny thing.
Ellie decided that Eva needed an Elmo tattoo this week!
That's how I'm feeling this week as I officially round the bases into the last third of my pregnancy. I'm trying to relish this experience but am wishing the next couple of months away at the same time.
This past Saturday welcomed a new baby Robison into our lives. Little Sophia Grace was born to Braden's brother Cortny (really born to his amazing wife Amber). Seeing little Sophia makes me want to meet Eva (that's the name we think we're going with) now. Patience is not my greatest strength.
And as we get closer, I think I get anxious about how the next few months will progress. I just want her to arrive safe and sound. In another month I start 2/week non-stress tests due to the umbilical cord defect. It just seems like a lot of testing. But I'm staying positive and trying to focus on the things I do have control of.
Another reason to speed along is the wear and tear of pregnancy. It takes its' toll on me and the family. My abilities are becoming more and more limited. As the tummy rounds out (I no longer have visibility to certain parts of my body) bending and lifting become constrained because the abs are gone. It also feels like the relaxin is kicking in big time so my joints are sore after a nights rest or being in one position for too long.
Poor Braden has to take up more and jobs around the house and in life...I know he's excited to have the "real" me back. I'm more needy than ever and it's just frustrating to both of us. And I feel like I'm just not as focused on Ellie these days. I feel like I'm constantly distracted. So that bums me out.
On the flip side of all this though, is the watching Eva grow into a little person. She's big enough now that my whole belly shifts and contorts with her movements. She reacts to her outside environment of sounds and touches. So at least once a day, I'm mesmerized by my belly. I stop and watch the little life inside doing her thing and am in awe.
And I know that for all the discomforts, she's much easier to take care of now. And that I don't have to worry about her out in the world because she's always with me.
So yeah, time (and being human)...it's a funny thing.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Ellie's First Sleepover
Sometimes I find it intimidating to blog about Ellie. Her little
life changes on an hourly basis some days. So where do I begin. I'm
not great with words or communicating. And because I get intimidated, I
procrastinate and then weeks or sometimes a month goes by before I get a
blog pulled together.
This happens to the case for this post. Ellie's first sleepover was a few weeks back with her cousin Elizabeth. The girls were so cute and wonderful together. Their personalities and age difference seem to be just perfect at this point in life. They are both strong minded and determined. They both tend to very strong in their approach with others (aka bossy). But when together, they don't seem to mind the other taking a demanding approach. They seem to "get" each other in that way.
Elizabeth being three years older and having a sibling Ellie's age is very caring and looks out for Ellie. Ellie being a tall three year old, can keep with Elizabeth pretty well and seems to idolize the girl time.
I was nervous about the actual sleeping part of a sleep over. We debated whether or not to put them in the same room. Elizabeth seemed open and very understanding as we discussed different options. But Ellie was insistent that she wanted them to sleep in the same room. So we agreed under the condition they actually sleep.
It started off as a perfect night's sleep with two little girls sleeping next to each other in sleeping bags. And although there were a couple wakeups due to Ellie's middle of the night milk habits, they did very well considering.
In the morning, we headed off to Chelsea Teddy Bear Company to make some teddy bears. Elizabeth was much more excited and into the cuddly result. Ellie still doesn't seem to value sleeping with dolls or animals...she prefer her pacifier and a glass of milk to cuddle.
After we headed to the Chelsea Tree House for a couple hours of play and lunch. The girls did great in amongst the chaos of the indoor play structure. Elizabeth kindly looked after Ellie who still struggled to get up some of the structures. And they both did a great job listening to me.
As we drove away from the day's excitement back to the other side of Detroit, wrapping up our event, they fell fast asleep, happy to be near each other. When we left Elizabeth they both refused to say goodbye and from what I've been told and experienced with Ellie, there were heartfelt tears that they weren't ready to be separated.
Braden and I have always hoped Ellie would get to experience special relationships with her cousins. I rank my cousin relationships as some of my most important ones. I'm happily thinking that this wish is coming true.
This happens to the case for this post. Ellie's first sleepover was a few weeks back with her cousin Elizabeth. The girls were so cute and wonderful together. Their personalities and age difference seem to be just perfect at this point in life. They are both strong minded and determined. They both tend to very strong in their approach with others (aka bossy). But when together, they don't seem to mind the other taking a demanding approach. They seem to "get" each other in that way.
Elizabeth being three years older and having a sibling Ellie's age is very caring and looks out for Ellie. Ellie being a tall three year old, can keep with Elizabeth pretty well and seems to idolize the girl time.
I was nervous about the actual sleeping part of a sleep over. We debated whether or not to put them in the same room. Elizabeth seemed open and very understanding as we discussed different options. But Ellie was insistent that she wanted them to sleep in the same room. So we agreed under the condition they actually sleep.
It started off as a perfect night's sleep with two little girls sleeping next to each other in sleeping bags. And although there were a couple wakeups due to Ellie's middle of the night milk habits, they did very well considering.
In the morning, we headed off to Chelsea Teddy Bear Company to make some teddy bears. Elizabeth was much more excited and into the cuddly result. Ellie still doesn't seem to value sleeping with dolls or animals...she prefer her pacifier and a glass of milk to cuddle.
After we headed to the Chelsea Tree House for a couple hours of play and lunch. The girls did great in amongst the chaos of the indoor play structure. Elizabeth kindly looked after Ellie who still struggled to get up some of the structures. And they both did a great job listening to me.
As we drove away from the day's excitement back to the other side of Detroit, wrapping up our event, they fell fast asleep, happy to be near each other. When we left Elizabeth they both refused to say goodbye and from what I've been told and experienced with Ellie, there were heartfelt tears that they weren't ready to be separated.
Braden and I have always hoped Ellie would get to experience special relationships with her cousins. I rank my cousin relationships as some of my most important ones. I'm happily thinking that this wish is coming true.
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