Week 29 - The Complaint Session

This blog is for me.  A cheap therapy session.  You can choose to read if you wish (empathy for the big pregnant woman) or ignore if you choose (believe that every part of birth is wonderful).

For all it's amazing magical mystery, pregnancy can be a real pain in the butt.  And the crazy part is that you forget all the frustrations after and year or so and are tempted to go through the whole process again.

So this blog is a kind reminder to the future me of all the joys and sorrows I'm experiencing with this pregnancy.  This week alone I have experienced light headedness due to low iron and some sleepless nights due to achy and sore joints.  Fortunately, the iron part can be fixed and we figured it out right away.  But the achy joints are related to the relaxin my body is producing to get ready for labor.  So that's around for the next couple of months.  I don't remember it starting this early with Ellie but the midwife said it's not unusual for everything to start earlier in subsequent pregnancies.

Clothes are starting to become an issue as the belly reaches a round, full circumference of 29cm (according to yesterday's midwife visit.  Eva's hb was right at 140).  It's getting harder and harder to find shirts that cover the entire belly so it appears that the lower part of my belly will continue to peek out from under for the foreseeable future.  This also means that I'm starting to reach the point of having a pregnancy uniform.  No one wants to buy more clothes they won't wear again in 2 months so I'm wearing a smaller selection of well fitting clothes on a continuous loop.  Boring.

Honestly, there are some days I wish I could take off the pregnancy and have the regular me back for a little bit. 

I think I've talked about this but all my veins bulge and are spidery blue across my chest, belly and legs.  Again, it's just strange to see your body be something so different than what is has been for as long as you can remember.

By the end of a day, gravity has done it's work on my belly.  The belly and all related muscles, both front and back, are sore making anything but sitting or laying down on my side a chore.  Sometimes I feel like I just give up and succumb to it.  But then feel sad for Braden and Ellie who still want to do fun things.

Sleep oh' precious sleep.  You are generally gone too.  Snoring has started (poor Braden slept in a different room last night because it was so bad).  All but two sleeping positions have been taken away.  And even then, I have to come out of a sleep state to move between the two.   There's the careful belly flip that has to happen.  Poor Eva doesn't like getting jostled too much.  If she does, then her whole body begins to twitch so I'm getting poked from the pelvic area all the way up to the ribs.  Once flipped to the new side, then pillows have to be adjusted to support hips, belly and arms.  After all this, then I can start to settle back into sleep.  (I really know this is just reverse "sleepless" training for the first couple of nursing months)

There are some great parts too.  I have great skin (no acne which is something I normally have) and the lush hair I remembered from my first pregnancy is back!  I get to watch little Eva become a person.  She is a well documented child with monthly ultrasounds.  Plus she's getting big enough that she's with me all the time..poking out from my belly.  I get to talk to her when she's awake squirming around.  I get to be special and different for these last few months.  Everyone likes pregnant people because they have special little packages.  They care about the event that's happening and are excited and generally very happy when discussing said little package.

It's been a blast to watch Ellie really process the experience.  She talks on a daily basis as if Eva is already here.  She's even blamed her already for something Ellie did.  "Eva did it" she told us one day in the car.  We smiled at how the sibling experience has already started for her.  She's been very loving and tender when it comes to my belly.  She hugs, kisses and has even talked to it.  Affection is generally not a strong Ellie trait so it's been very surprising.

I feel well prepared going into this second birth and parenting experience.  Do I think it's going to go off script and deviate from all plans?  yes.  But I've had three years to overcome some of my control tendencies.  Not that they don't creep in daily but in general, I'm ready to expect the unexpected.  So I'm looking forward to enjoying this parenting experience more than I did with Ellie.  (Really I was a wreck that first year with Ellie)

Ok...starting to feel much better.  Pregnancy can be tough stuff.  And it's not something that you can take turns sharing with anyone else.  It's all yours, the good, the bad and the ugly :)