Some days I feel like I'm losing the parenting battles...and other days I'm winning :-)  Ellie just came back from Trader Joe's with these hand picked flowers.  She handed them to me and said..."You're my best Momma ever. I thought they would make you happy."  I melt and am recharged enough to continue the parenting fight for a happy, healthy family...content sigh.

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Yummm...fingers

Eva just found her fingers in the last hour!  She's tested them out a couple times.  So begins the everything going in the mouth phase...

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2 months old

It is amazing.  This week she transformed from a newborn to a baby.

I'm Calling It...Eva's a Baby

I've noticed the last couple of days Eva looking and acting more like a baby than a newborn.  Her face and body are full, round and easy to hold in a "sitting" position.  Her head wobbles on occasion versus all the time.  She's "talking" throughout the day.  She's slept in 5-6hr chunks the last two nights.

So I'm calling it...after 8 weeks and 6 days, Eva is a baby!  She's left her newborn sleepiness and is going to be filling our days practicing grasping, cooing and eventually rolling.  Oh the fun we have ahead :)  Merry Christmas to us.

Twins

Can you tell who is who?  Need a hint?  Uncle Don and Aunt Nancy haven't met Eva yet.







  (Ellie's in the top picture and Eva's the bottom.  Ellie is about a month older in the picture)

You lose

I don't remember if I written about Ellie's competitive streak or not.  But it's becoming more and more evident that it's part of her programming.  It started with things like "I'm the leader, you walk behind me."  I thought it was part of her 2 year old independence.  Until a recent trip to a kids store...

The store had placed a number of toys out for kids to play with while parents shopped.  A little boy about the same age began to play with Ellie.  They found a car track set and started racing little wooden cars.  Each time the cars finished zooming down the track, Ellie loudly announced "You LOSE, I win!".  Sigh.  I applaud her zest for being good at things but come on...do you really need to win all the time? 

This will be a very "interesting" trait to manage... 

A peanut sat on a railroad track. .

I See You

Video of Eva's new gear...holding her head and engaging the world :-)


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Eva's Week 6 plus Ellie Thoughts

I'm streamlining starting today :)  Rather than doing posts for one or the other kid, I'm giving updates on both girls.  After a month and half of sleepless (or little sleep) nights, I'm looking for all ways to make life easier!

Starting with Ellie.  She has settled into the "new world order" of a house of four.  When Eva came home, Braden and I divided child duty.  It just made sense I focus the post-pregnancy/birth energy (ie no energy) I had on Eva and he take Ellie.  But it soon caused a divided household.  Ellie wouldn't let me do much of anything when it came to caring for her.  But in recent weeks, I've started to feel better and as I engage her in her love languages, she has started to reciprocate with love and kindness in return.  And we all seem to work better when both parents are able to care for both children.

Maybe all this cooperation and care has also had positive effects on sleep too. She has started to sleep through the night... again!!!!  For the last year or so, she has been waking up at least once a night.  The late night visits crescendo'd when we brought Eva home.  (We were up to 3 -4 times a night)  But after a cold slowed her down a couple weeks ago, she has slept through the night, every night since.  It has been AWESOME.  We are soooo excited.  It makes such a difference for all of us.

The other amazing and wonderful change in Ellie's recent world has been all the self play.  For the first time, Ellie has been using her imagination and creating whole worlds and playing by herself for long periods (20-30mins) of time.  This is a very helpful skill as I learn to juggle two little people's needs.  Plus it's just darn cute watching her creative and inventive imagination explore with play things.

As for Eva, yesterday was a BIG day.  She got a new "gear".  That's what B and I call milestone moments.  From the minute she woke up, she just looked at us and everything around her differently.  It was like she was "awake".  She had such clarity and intent in her eyes and her movements.  When she was held up over someone's shoulder, she carried her body like a baby...she stiffened her back so her head had full range of motion and her legs stuck straight out so she could be lifted higher on the shoulder (versus the baby ball of legs that allowed you to snuggle her into your chest).  She also made more attempts to "talk" with coos and little sounds.  

Her socialization also seemed to "turn on" with big, expressive smiles (compared to the sporadic, practice-like smiles we've been getting the last couple of weeks).  Yesterday's smiles were almost a recognition of "Hey, I know you".  They were the big, gummie grins I used to get from Ellie when she was happy to see us.  I'm looking forward to seeing more of these!

Sleep is also changing.  She's not sleeping as long during naps and can be awaken easier.  But times are starting to stretch out at night.  Eva's slept anywhere from 3-6 hours (exceptional night) at her longest stretch this week.  I figure if I can get through one REM cycle on a regular basis, that I'll be rocking the world.

Also nice to report, I'm starting to return to my normal self!  My body looks and feels almost pre-pregnancy.  Nursing started to stabilize last week (ie I'm not letting down at all sorts of random times) which allows me to wear pre-pregnancy clothes.  And because I feel more like myself, I'm happier and eating better.  Which gives me more energy to be a better Mom.  Life works in cycles, doesn't it?

PS.  Just a quick shout out to the amazing family and friends that have been so helpful since Eva was born.  People have made food, sent gifts, made visits, taken care of Ellie, held Eva, and showed a lot of love and care.  We are very blessed and feel very grateful for every bit of it.

Eva - Month 1!

Eva's been with our family for a month now!  As time does, it flew by.  So I thought I would do a quick recap of the month and add more pictures of our little person.

Week 0 - Organized chaos.  We arrived home on a Tuesday and introduced Eva to her home.  JD, Kim and Maddy visited our first night and brought enough food from Livonia Bakery to feed us for the next couple of lunches and dinners.  Ellie was amazingly sweet and excited to have us and her sister home.  Maybe a little too excited.  She got up 3 or 4 times that first night.  It must have been hard to have all of us together while she slept on the other side of the house.

Fortunately, Grandma Weitzel stayed with us the fist few days to help be an extra pair of hands.  And then when she left, Gigi Robison came over to help.  We are definitely smarter about accepting all help this time around.  I don't think we have said "no" once...you offer and we accept :)

Week 1 - Braden was still off work and we were enjoying the family time.  He spent lots of extra time with Ellie which she loved.  They would go outside and build obstacle courses and just pal around.

We celebrated our first Halloween together.  Ellie and Eva had matching blue princess costumes.

Week 2 -  Braden heads back to work.  Leaving our little bubble made me sad.  Life is so good when you don't have to focus on anything else but each other.  Our little vacation from reality was sweet and so appreciated.

By the end of the week, Eva had outgrown her "newborn" clothes.  You could really start to see her change.  The little chicken legs all newborns seem to be born with were getting little, countable fat rolls.  Her little butt was starting to fill out and looking like it had some "meat" to it.

Week 3 - We started experiencing gassy tummy troubles this week.  So we started focusing on anti-gas measures (burping, gripe water, gas drops).  Poor little thing looked so uncomfortable.  But by the end of the week, we seemed to be getting the hang of burping and more and more gas seemed to be expelled from her little bottom.  It's tough being little when all systems are new and nothing seems to be fully functional just yet.

Mom and Dad Robison said that Eva would follow my voice, by turning her head and try to track me with her eyes, no matter where I was in a room.

Week 4 - Eva experienced her first cold.  I was almost in tears at first.  I tried so hard to keep her away from germs.  I've been hesitant to go anywhere or do much of anything for fear of exposure to all the winter germs that are starting to float around.  But fortunately she weathered the experience well.  No fevers.  Just congestion.  We started Vitamin D supplements and propped her up in a swing for sleeping.  By Friday's doctor appt, she was doing well.

On Thursday, we started to get our first smiles and coos.  And she really started to seem to interact with us.  Her hand movements have become more intentional with her little hands grabbing onto things she wants.  She also is able to hold her head for decent amounts of time, which is making holding onto her so much easier.

We also confirmed our guesses...she'd grown like bamboo this first month with a visit to Dr Gordon on Friday.  She jumped from the 20th percentiles to 70th percentiles in height and weight.  Weight was 10lbs 4ozs, height 21.7ins and head circumference 14.5ins.  She's now filling her 3 month clothes nicely and doesn't have much room left.

Lastly, her sleep habits have been GREATLY appreciated.  From the beginning, she seemed to know her nights.  She started sleeping somewhere between 8-10pm and then continues to sleep only waking for feedings. So although I'm not getting great sleep being the feeder and changer, I'm not pacing the house like a zombie trying to get her to sleep (knock on wood!).

Transitions and Ellie

Ellie's been a little challenging for me recently.  Being fairly sleep deprived w/ all the over night feedings, all I want to do is be mellow.  But  that is the LAST thing an active 3 year old wants.  So there have been many times when Ellie and I get into a power struggle.  I ask her to do something (ie. "Me: please put your pants on", "Her: No, chase me")  And I feel such frustration (and sadly anger sometimes) in those moments.  

This was the recent note from Ellie's teacher and an timely reminder of all the really good parts of my active, sometimes frustrating 3 year old.  It made me stop and think and realize that I need to figure out a better way of balancing the very different needs of Eva and Ellie.

Something that is very special about Ellie is how flexible she is with other children.  Even though she has been an only child (up until three weeks ago), she shows so much love, empathy, and openness towards other children.  She is always asking, "Can I play with you?" and "Do you want to play with me?"  She seems to play almost any game with almost any child.  Ellie has made some meaningful connections with the girls in our group, but she doesn't limit herself to a certain play scenario and/or children.

We are working on problem-solving in our group pretty heavily right now, which is typical of this age.  It's important to give as many choices as possible throughout the day so children can feel that they have control over themselves and their choices.  At the same time, it's important to establish boundaries/guidelines with children so they know how far they can try to "push".  :)

Ellie is always so excited to be at school and her smiling never seems to end! I love that she feels so passionate about school and wants to come even when she's having a stay-at-home day (pictures and the Friendship Feast). :) She seems very proud to be a big sister and loves to talk about Eva! 

Eva's Birth Story

It all started with a full moon on October 19th.  I had a feeling Eva would come on the October full moon.

My very first non-stress test in the Birthing Center was delayed because the staff was so busy with a glut of deliveries.  They swore all the births were tied to the September Full Moon.  They hypothesize the gravitational pull of the moon breaks the amniotic sacks.

And with all my extra amniotic fluid, I thought I was an excellent candidate for the "full moon effect".  Turns out that it was a Harvest/Hunter Full Moon and was big, orange and really beautiful.  Braden wanted me to take a picture of it as we got onto the express way but the phone camera just didn't do it justice.  So here's a picture from the internet but it looked just like this.

I'm getting ahead of myself.  Rewinding a couple hours before, Braden was cooking dinner and just sharing that the Saturday had not gone at all like he thought.  And then minutes later, I came back to him sharing a suspicion that my water had broken (I felt like I was slowly peeing).  We just smiled because it was so fitting given the other strange occurrences of the pregnancy and his statement about nothing going as planned.

After dinner (we were too anxious to really eat but the food was already made), we called the midwife hotline and of course got Jen S (the midwife we always seem to get when something weird was going on).  At first she said to keep an eye on it, but called back because Dr. D was on duty and wanted us to come in for a non-stress test (ahhh yes, more non-stress tests due to the umbilical cord defect).

So arrangements were made with Mom W to meet us at the hospital to take Ellie.  (Fortunately Rose and Mike were running the Detroit Marathon the next morning so Grandma was going to be watching all the little ones anyhow.  And Ellie was thrilled to be having a sleepover with her cousins.)

Once hooked up to the fetal monitors, contractions started and we were able to see that Eva was managing the contractions wonderfully.  The nurses also confirmed water broke with some kind of test.  So I was admitted and we knew it was game on.  Eva was going to be arriving one way or another.

They wanted to know if we wanted to do anything to speed labor along.  But we asked that we take the evening to rest and see where labor naturally went.  Well that was a big, fat no where.  But on the good side, we were well rested come morning! 

Jo, the birth photographer left a Halloween party to join us for the evening.  I was in the hospital bed, Braden had the couch and Jo was in the reclining chair.  But in the morning we found out that she had come down with food poisoning overnight.  With labor completely stopped and "water" no longer leaking, we sent her home to recover.  (Poor thing didn't recover in time for the birth but she did make it up to us in the long run :) )

Although our room was an oasis of calmed excitement, the rest of the floor was off the hook.  Full moon craziness reigned.  We talked to Dr D at 8am and he had personally delivered five babies since 3am and was headed back in to deliver another one even though he was now technically off duty.  We didn't meet our day shift nurse until 1pm because she had been in back to back deliveries (she had started at 7am).

But honestly, we didn't mind.  It gave Braden and I plenty of time to settle in and "enjoy" some quiet time together.  We went for walks around the floor.  Took naps.  Ate yummy room service foods.  We were actually grateful that everyone was so busy and that we were hardly bothered.

Jen S was back on duty Sunday.  After a very busy morning, she tracked us down and started to discuss options.  Based on Dr D's recommendation, we decided to kick start labor again with pitocin.  He felt that it was the best way to push Eva down the birth canal and ensure that the umbilical cord didn't prolapse if water did break.

But after 2-3 hours on pitocin, we were no farther than when we started.  I was hardly feeling the contractions.  So at 5pm, we were at the 24hr mark since the initial leak started and potentially facing more interventions (antibiotics, etc).  We decided to "needle the amniotic sack" and break the water in more gentle way. 

What a crazy, crazy feeling.  Once the water was broken, it just gushed out and kept coming for what felt like a really long time.  But it also signaled "game time" for us.  They kept me on pitocin for another 30mins but the contractions were so intense that we quickly turned it off.

My body took over.  The midwives and Braden were amazing.  I was asking for an epidural (what felt like) soon after contractions took off.  But they just kept kindly delaying my requests and suggesting other comfort measures.  Rose arrived shortly and sweetly brought Braden a Smash burger (good for him, stinky for me :) )

Three hours later, at 8:39pm, Eva joined us at 7lbs 1oz and 19.75ins.  We had the opportunity to just enjoy her for the first hour or so.  Lynn R, the midwife I had been seeing at clinic actually delivered and was awesome at ensuring an intact bottom.  And Elizabeth, the attending nurse, was a midwife in Nigeria and took great care of all of us through the rest of the night.

Jo came back the morning of our discharge and took pictures of our room and last minutes together before heading back into the "real world".

Memories of a non-stress test

The one and only awesome Dr D

Loved our cranberry juice!!!

Headed home

Victory! Potty Training 0 - Parents 1

I feel safe enough after almost a week in underwear to claim us victorious over potty training.  As promised by her teachers, they have never sent a preschooler to kindergarten in diapers.

I have to say that I'm really happy and proud of us all for staying calm and patient with the process.  You would've sworn just a few short months ago that Ellie would be in diapers the rest of her life given her aversion to the toilet.  But here we are and how proud she makes herself when she uses the toilet.

Go team!!!  Happy Sunday to us :)

All's Cheeky

Little Eva's eating and growing and eating and growing.  She turns 3 weeks in just a couple of days and from our very rough measurement is at least an inch taller.  Absolutely amazing!


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Ellie's Personality

Ellie's loving preschool.  She loves the teachers and the adventures and activities they plan.  We get regular updates from her teacher.  And here's the one we received this week.  I know we're biased but it's nice to "see" Ellie from another adult's perspective. 

"I can't tell you how much I enjoy having Ellie in group!  She is such a caring, generous, loving little girl with a wonderful smile! She is always excited to come to CDC, and has the easiest drop-offs I've ever seen! :)  She shows kindness toward other children, and offers to get them ice packs when they are hurt."

Eva's First Week

Oh what a week!  Eva's been home now for a week.  Every day has been different from the previous one.  When we brought Eva home last Tuesday, she was pretty cranky and hungry! We ended up supplementing her with formula a couple times just to try to satisfy her little tummy until my milk came in.

Fortunately, that wasn't too much longer after that.  By Wednesday, it was coming in and we started to turn the corner with her crankiness.  By Friday, she was a happy camper and eating like crazy.  Saturday was a growth spurt day and she was eating almost every hour.

Sleep has been great.  She was in her newborn phase the first couple of days and would happily sleep hours at a time.  A real blessing as we adjusted to her continuous and frequent newborn needs (8-12 feedings and diaper changes a day)  So far, she has been sleeping thru the night (although we don't expect that to last as she becomes less and less a newborn).  She wakes for feedings but then falls right back to sleep.

We went for her first checkup on Thursday.  She'd lost half a pound but we weren't too worried since milk was newly available.  Everything else checked out!  She was 20ins, 6lbs 9ozs with a head circumference 13.25ins.

 Here are some of our favorite pictures of the week.  Eva is holding Ellie's hand in the first picture.  We have been blessed with a very loving big sister.  Ellie's given us a hard time but has been soooo wonderful towards Eva.

Week 37 - Full Term!

We made it!  Today we cross the full term finish line.  Almost didn't make it given a string of crazy moments on Thursday.  But with great relief, we're here!!

We were admitted to the hospital for overnight fetal monitoring Thursday evening after a set of strange circumstances unfolded (possible fetal heart rate issues, complications due to compromised liver functionality for me and concerns over umbilical cord blood flows).  I wasn't thrilled.  I was trying to be brave and calm about the whole thing but was just feeling really anxious.  When the high risk dr. released us with good news Friday morning, I wanted to hug her!

Good news included great baby responses (aka placental health) to the small contractions they were monitoring over night.  No specific indication of my liver being compromised at this point.  And umbilical cord blood flow is spot on for this part of the pregnancy.

Although I wouldn't ask for it again, it was strangely nice to go thru the admittance process and get a "dry run" of sorts.  (Being glass half full :) ) By process of elimination, we figured out where to put the saline hep lock, what is and isn't provided by the hospital, and even tried out some of the very nice "room service" menu.

I feel like Eva and I were given reprieve for a couple of days (tests continue on Tuesday).  I really hope she gets to decide when she's ready.  But with all the continued testing, there's always a possibility that the medical world decides for her.  I'm trying to keep my zen about it all, realizing I am merely along for the ride no matter who decides.  Thank God for massages, prayer, yoga, acupuncture and all the meditations I've been working on :)

Napless in Ann Arbor

I love three!  Ellie has been a joy recently.  She's putting pieces of the world together faster than we can give them to her.  And she's loving preschool.  Her teacher Megan has been a wonderful source of all kinds of new activities and learning.  So she's a happier person with all her new skills and abilities.

A recent causality of getting older though is her naps.  One week she just stopped taking them.  I thought they were going to get shorter and shorter until they just disappeared.  But it's more like they just fell off a cliff.  One day they were there and the next they weren't.   Although I miss the afternoon breaks, the lack of afternoon sleep has resulted in earlier bedtimes.  Take the good with the bad.

She's become a biking machine (on training wheels).  Supposedly she went about 2 miles to and from a park with my brother this past Friday.  She's really mastered steering and stopping.  I think her tallness/size is super helpful because she can get good leverage on the pedals.  We've already invested in equipment for next season so that we can all hopefully get out more as a family.

I've been meaning to write down some of the recent stories and funny things she's been saying.  But of course I can't remember any of them at the moment.  So I'll just post what I've got tonight and make a promise to myself to be better about getting them to "paper" over the next little while.

Week 36 - Last Month

Where did the last month go???  I can't believe my last post was as long ago as it was.  I've thought often about posting but guess just haven't gotten to it.

Eva continues to grow.  At the last ultrasound (Sept 24), she was guesstimated at over 5lbs.  And the tech noted her long arm and leg bones and lots of hair.  We were able to get a great 3D picture this time too. 

She also seems to have developed daily cases of hiccups recently.  And they are always later in the evening.  Just interesting.  Ellie seemed to have hiccups a lot through out the pregnancy.  

And we're in week 4 of non stress tests.  I'm actually not as frustrated by them as I thought I was going to be.  I've gotten in a routine and have used the time to get to know the Birthing Center staff.  I think it'll make my actual laboring time easier because I've spent so much time there leading up to Eva's arrival.  Plus I think I'll be able to administer my own non stress test by the time these are done.  I've gotten pretty good at reading all the charts and numbers.

Braden's been hard at work at Eva's room transformation and is almost done.  It just needs one more coat of paint and then it'll be ready for filling.  It feels like one more step closer to being ready for her arrival.

Speaking of her arrival, I've reached the end of the pregnancy.  She running out of room and continues to contort my belly as she rolls around trying to shift here or there. (At today's doctor appointment, the circumference of my belly was 38cm) I'm also physically slowing down and crave sleep all the time.  I also find myself spending a lot of time mentally preparing for our special day.  And think to myself how grateful I might be if she decides to come early.

We also got back her maternity pictures.  Here are just a few that make us smile.

Birthday @ Preschool

Received this from Ellie's teacher today:

Attached are pictures of Ellie receiving her birthday crown today!  She had a huge smile on her face the entire time! :)  She seems very proud to be 3!  Thanks for bringing in her birthday books.  We looked through the Sesame Street one, and read The Best Nest during morning story time and Go, Dogs, Go! during afternoon story time (her picks).  She had a great day!

PS.  Check out the way Ellie shows 3 fingers on her hand.  I know she'll eventually do it like everyone else but I love that there's no "right way" at this point.

Happy Very 3rd Birthday Ellie!!!

Ellie turns 3 this week!  Although it feels like she's been 3 for a few months now.  She's tall (40ins) and thinning out, with muscle tone replacing baby chubbiness (weighing about 38lbs, 5T shirts, 4T pants and growing into size 10 shoes).  Ever since she started at the new school, she's been acting, thinking and talking more like a kid than a toddler.  I think going from being the oldest at Gretchen's House to the youngest at Community Daycare, has pushed her to new levels.  She'll tell us something is "cool" or will give us "Ok, Ok, I get it!" (said with rolling eyes and all) when we're correcting her.  Yep, she's been hanging out with 5 year olds.

But looking back on the blog posts from this past year, I am most happy to report being past the terrible 2's (knocking on wood and fingers crossed).  With all this new found excitement and confidence, Ellie has been a really wonderful person to be around these last few months.  We've heard from some parents that 3 was way worse than 2.  But I have a theory that the tough, defiant behavior happens sometime in the span of these two years.  For some (like us) it was at 2 and for others it's at 3.

Leaving her third year of life, she is a fully functional human.  She can write her name.  Ride a bike (with training wheels).  Articulate her needs.  Use scissors like a surgeon.  Climb just about anything (like our little 5ft tall climbing wall).  Use a knife to cut foods like tomatoes.  Make her own PB&J sandwiches.  Wash and comb her hair.  Get dressed.  Recognize most letters of the alphabet.  Knows her colors.  And is doing basic math (addition and subtraction) pretty well.

There are some elusive talents as well.  Potty training is very hit or miss.  She doesn't mind going pee on the toilet...as long as you remind her.  But #2 is still preferred in a diaper/pull up/underware.  A continuous night's sleep happens maybe once a week.  It's still the given that she wakes up once a night for milk.  And pacifiers, oh pacifiers, are still the preferred object of comfort and happiness.  (There's no lovely/stuffed animal that we've been able to establish...she's just not a stuffed animal kind of kid)

We've talked and talked about what to do with pacifiers but have decided to let them stay for now.  With Eva coming and being another potential pacifier user, we decided that it was not the time to ween Ellie.  But we are always on the lookout for opportunities to limit pacifier use and angles we might play when the time comes.

Food is still a battleground.  She'll eat better for others in locations where food choice is limited.  But she openly and readily fights us at meal times.  (I think in part because she knows there are other, Ellie preferred choices in the kitchen).  We rarely give in to demands but do make very boring choices of what to present her.  It's a limited menu of grains, dairy and some fruits.  Lots of proteins have been ejected this past year...it's a rare occasion we can get her to eat meat or eggs.

One of her teachers describes Ellie as an "All In" kind of kid.  She has no issues being the first to do something.  She prefers to be in charge of activities.  She wants to win at everything.  She enjoys being around older children.  (maybe it's her size that makes her feel more comfortable around the big kids)  She's a happy, outgoing child that wants to know everyone's name and says hi to most anyone.

Other Ellie-isms: She still enjoys drawing and loves her magnadoodle most for creating.  She still takes daily naps (we've tried dropping them with poor results).  But her bedtime is now much later at 9-ish.  She wakes up between 7 and 8.  She loves being outside and getting dirty is no issue.  She is most happy working with Daddy on house projects.  She respectfully uses many household tools like hammers, screwdrivers, tape measures, etc.  Her favorite color is pink, along with purple.  She loves little play heeled shoes (and is freakishly good at wearing them).  Toys have little interest.  She enjoys taking apart and manipulating household objects.  She hates having her hair done or teeth brushed.  And loves being around her family.

This upcoming year will be unlike any of her others as we welcome Eva.  Ellie will become a sister and have to learn life as a sibling.  I predict that she will love and hate it all the same time.

Week 31 - 4 to 5lbs!

Wednesday was another ultrasound appt with the geneticist for a growth study review.  We're happily at the point where the geneticist is no longer concerned with growth restriction.  Eva is a big kid and is measuring a whole week ahead at this point.  They guesstimate her weight somewhere between 4 and 5lbs.  And the tech said she has really long arm and leg bones.  (Her heart rate is holding at 140bpm)  They also noted that she has a head of hair already (they gave us an ultrasound picture with hair at the nape of the neck)!  The more we find out about little Eva, the more she sounds like a mini-Ellie.

Interestingly, now the concern is that her large size could be an issue if somehow the umbilical cord gets squished or tangled.  So the twice/week non-stress tests are still scheduled with another ultrasound in 3 weeks.  If feels like next week is the start of the official countdown!  I will have 2-3 appts/week for the remainder of the pregnancy so it just feels like a matter of time...good thing Braden is making good progress on the nursery :)

Week 29 - The Complaint Session

This blog is for me.  A cheap therapy session.  You can choose to read if you wish (empathy for the big pregnant woman) or ignore if you choose (believe that every part of birth is wonderful).

For all it's amazing magical mystery, pregnancy can be a real pain in the butt.  And the crazy part is that you forget all the frustrations after and year or so and are tempted to go through the whole process again.

So this blog is a kind reminder to the future me of all the joys and sorrows I'm experiencing with this pregnancy.  This week alone I have experienced light headedness due to low iron and some sleepless nights due to achy and sore joints.  Fortunately, the iron part can be fixed and we figured it out right away.  But the achy joints are related to the relaxin my body is producing to get ready for labor.  So that's around for the next couple of months.  I don't remember it starting this early with Ellie but the midwife said it's not unusual for everything to start earlier in subsequent pregnancies.

Clothes are starting to become an issue as the belly reaches a round, full circumference of 29cm (according to yesterday's midwife visit.  Eva's hb was right at 140).  It's getting harder and harder to find shirts that cover the entire belly so it appears that the lower part of my belly will continue to peek out from under for the foreseeable future.  This also means that I'm starting to reach the point of having a pregnancy uniform.  No one wants to buy more clothes they won't wear again in 2 months so I'm wearing a smaller selection of well fitting clothes on a continuous loop.  Boring.

Honestly, there are some days I wish I could take off the pregnancy and have the regular me back for a little bit. 

I think I've talked about this but all my veins bulge and are spidery blue across my chest, belly and legs.  Again, it's just strange to see your body be something so different than what is has been for as long as you can remember.

By the end of a day, gravity has done it's work on my belly.  The belly and all related muscles, both front and back, are sore making anything but sitting or laying down on my side a chore.  Sometimes I feel like I just give up and succumb to it.  But then feel sad for Braden and Ellie who still want to do fun things.

Sleep oh' precious sleep.  You are generally gone too.  Snoring has started (poor Braden slept in a different room last night because it was so bad).  All but two sleeping positions have been taken away.  And even then, I have to come out of a sleep state to move between the two.   There's the careful belly flip that has to happen.  Poor Eva doesn't like getting jostled too much.  If she does, then her whole body begins to twitch so I'm getting poked from the pelvic area all the way up to the ribs.  Once flipped to the new side, then pillows have to be adjusted to support hips, belly and arms.  After all this, then I can start to settle back into sleep.  (I really know this is just reverse "sleepless" training for the first couple of nursing months)

There are some great parts too.  I have great skin (no acne which is something I normally have) and the lush hair I remembered from my first pregnancy is back!  I get to watch little Eva become a person.  She is a well documented child with monthly ultrasounds.  Plus she's getting big enough that she's with me all the time..poking out from my belly.  I get to talk to her when she's awake squirming around.  I get to be special and different for these last few months.  Everyone likes pregnant people because they have special little packages.  They care about the event that's happening and are excited and generally very happy when discussing said little package.

It's been a blast to watch Ellie really process the experience.  She talks on a daily basis as if Eva is already here.  She's even blamed her already for something Ellie did.  "Eva did it" she told us one day in the car.  We smiled at how the sibling experience has already started for her.  She's been very loving and tender when it comes to my belly.  She hugs, kisses and has even talked to it.  Affection is generally not a strong Ellie trait so it's been very surprising.

I feel well prepared going into this second birth and parenting experience.  Do I think it's going to go off script and deviate from all plans?  yes.  But I've had three years to overcome some of my control tendencies.  Not that they don't creep in daily but in general, I'm ready to expect the unexpected.  So I'm looking forward to enjoying this parenting experience more than I did with Ellie.  (Really I was a wreck that first year with Ellie)

Ok...starting to feel much better.  Pregnancy can be tough stuff.  And it's not something that you can take turns sharing with anyone else.  It's all yours, the good, the bad and the ugly :)

That beautiful mind

I was just picking up the house and discovered this amazing magnadoodle creation.  It's the best version of her name that I've seen her write and almost has all the letters.  It's definitely a 51% moment...these days are the reason it all feels worth it :-)


Sent from my Samsung Epic™ 4G

Week 28 - Holy Cow, Hello Third Trimester

"Time" you are a funny, funny thing.  How fast "you" move, yet how slow "you" go.

That's how I'm feeling this week as I officially round the bases into the last third of my pregnancy.  I'm trying to relish this experience but am wishing the next couple of months away at the same time.

This past Saturday welcomed a new baby Robison into our lives.  Little Sophia Grace was born to Braden's brother Cortny (really born to his amazing wife Amber).  Seeing little Sophia makes me want to meet Eva (that's the name we think we're going with) now.  Patience is not my greatest strength.

And as we get closer, I think I get anxious about how the next few months will progress.  I just want her to arrive safe and sound.  In another month I start 2/week non-stress tests due to the umbilical cord defect.  It just seems like a lot of testing.  But I'm staying positive and trying to focus on the things I do have control of.

Another reason to speed along is the wear and tear of pregnancy.  It takes its' toll on me and the family.  My abilities are becoming more and more limited.  As the tummy rounds out (I no longer have visibility to certain parts of my body) bending and lifting become constrained because the abs are gone.  It also feels like the relaxin is kicking in big time so my joints are sore after a nights rest or being in one position for too long.

Poor Braden has to take up more and jobs around the house and in life...I know he's excited to have the "real" me back.  I'm more needy than ever and it's just frustrating to both of us.  And I feel like I'm just not as focused on Ellie these days.  I feel like I'm constantly distracted.  So that bums me out.

On the flip side of all this though, is the watching Eva grow into a little person.  She's big enough now that my whole belly shifts and contorts with her movements.  She reacts to her outside environment of sounds and touches.  So at least once a day, I'm mesmerized by my belly.  I stop and watch the little life inside doing her thing and am in awe.

And I know that for all the discomforts, she's much easier to take care of now.  And that I don't have to worry about her out in the world because she's always with me.

So yeah, time (and being human)...it's a funny thing. 

 Ellie decided that Eva needed an Elmo tattoo this week!

Ellie's First Sleepover

Sometimes I find it intimidating to blog about Ellie.  Her little life changes on an hourly basis some days.  So where do I begin.  I'm not great with words or communicating.  And because I get intimidated, I procrastinate and then weeks or sometimes a month goes by before I get a blog pulled together.

This happens to the case for this post.  Ellie's first sleepover was a few weeks back with her cousin Elizabeth.  The girls were so cute and wonderful together.  Their personalities and age difference seem to be just perfect at this point in life.  They are both strong minded and determined.  They both tend to very strong in their approach with others (aka bossy).  But when together, they don't seem to mind the other taking a demanding approach.  They seem to "get" each other in that way.

Elizabeth being three years older and having a sibling Ellie's age is very caring and looks out for Ellie.  Ellie being a tall three year old, can keep with Elizabeth pretty well and seems to idolize the girl time.

I was nervous about the actual sleeping part of a sleep over.  We debated whether or not to put them in the same room.  Elizabeth seemed open and very understanding as we discussed different options.  But Ellie was insistent that she wanted them to sleep in the same room.  So we agreed under the condition they actually sleep.

It started off as a perfect night's sleep with two little girls sleeping next to each other in sleeping bags.  And although there were a couple wakeups due to Ellie's middle of the night milk habits, they did very well considering.

In the morning, we headed off to Chelsea Teddy Bear Company to make some teddy bears.  Elizabeth was much more excited and into the cuddly result.  Ellie still doesn't seem to value sleeping with dolls or animals...she prefer her pacifier and a glass of milk to cuddle. 

After we headed to the Chelsea Tree House for a couple hours of play and lunch.  The girls did great in amongst the chaos of the indoor play structure.  Elizabeth kindly looked after Ellie who still struggled to get up some of the structures.  And they both did a great job listening to me.

As we drove away from the day's excitement back to the other side of Detroit, wrapping up our event, they fell fast asleep, happy to be near each other.   When we left Elizabeth they both refused to say goodbye and from what I've been told and experienced with Ellie, there were heartfelt tears that they weren't ready to be separated.

Braden and I have always hoped Ellie would get to experience special relationships with her cousins.  I rank my cousin relationships as some of my most important ones.  I'm happily thinking that this wish is coming true.